Blame or Confession? | Re-examining Adam’s Response
Counselors need to be good listeners. Listening well helps us rightly assess a situation so we can counsel in keeping with God’s heart and rightly apply God’s word. As I’ve reflected on the conversation between Adam and God in the garden after the fall, I’ve begun to wonder if the Church has misjudged Adam's response.
Traditionally, we’ve understood that Adam blamed “the woman” or even God for his sin. You may be familiar with the passage. When God questions Adam, he responds, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me fruit of the tree, and I ate.” (Genesis 3:12). It’s common when pastors preach on this text that the congregation, anticipating the point to be made, begins to snicker as the pastor suggests that Adam blames the woman for his sin. This is what I would like to examine..
To ensure we're on the same page, let’s define blame as the act of assigning responsibility. While I fully believe that we all have a tendency to blame others for our own wrongdoings, I don't think this particular text provides a clear example of that. If, as counselors, we misinterpret Adam’s response, we risk giving counsel that is inconsistent with God’s heart and wisdom. If Adam is, indeed, blaming the woman, the logical response would be to guide him toward taking responsibility for his actions. We cannot repent without taking responsibility and without repentance we cannot experience the blessings of the Kingdom. This might lead us to approach the situation with a “don’t blame” attitude, which, I contend, was not God's response.
Note: I recognize that what I’m suggesting challenges traditional interpretations. Because of this, it may be difficult to hear a different perspective. Just know, I am not attempting to deconstruct something that may mislead us away from the Kingdom. My desire is to more faithfully represent it.
Now after John was arrested, Jesus came into Galilee, proclaiming the gospel of God, and saying, "The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel."
Mark 1:14-15
ACTIVE VERSES PASSIVE HEART
As I read the text, I bring with me my training as a biblical counselor. Early in my development, I was taught to listen for the difference between the active and passive heart. The passive heart claims no culpability for its actions, viewing itself as merely a product of external influences. While these influences—whether biological (nature), relational (nurture), cultural, or spiritual—are undeniably powerful, the passive heart lives as though we are determined by them.
However, the Bible teaches that our hearts actively respond to these influences. While we may not be responsible for the circumstances that shape us (our lot in life), we are fully responsible for the actions that come from our hearts. God is compassionate toward the ungodly influences that have shaped us, but He still holds us accountable for the fruit that emanates from our hearts. These influences may help explain our behavior, but they do not excuse it, nor do they have to determine it.
For example, a passive heart might say, “You make me so angry,” which implies that the other person is responsible for the anger I feel. A more accurate, active heart statement would be, “You gave me fertile ground to become angry, but I chose to take it.” There may be real injustice involved, but ultimately, I am responsible for what rises from my heart. If we fail to take responsibility for our reactions, we will be tempted to blame others and will remain spiritually stagnant. Without accepting responsibility, true repentance is impossible, because repentance requires acknowledging our role in the sin we commit.
APPLYING THIS PRINCIPLE TO THE CONVERSATION IN QUESTION
It is with this lens that we will examine the conversation in question. Let’s consider the words Adam uses in response to God’s questioning. He ends his statement with, “I ate.” Does that sound like a confession of his wrongdoing or a denial? Does it seem like he is taking responsibility, or does it sound like blame? Is this an active heart or a passive heart? Reflecting on these words, I began to question the common interpretation that Adam was blaming the woman. We all know that we can’t simply proof-text; we need to understand statements within their full context. In examining that context, I believe it further supports the suggestion I’m making.
If we can agree that “I ate”—a statement both Adam and Eve make—represents a confession of responsibility rather than a denial of responsibility, we can then move to examine what Adam says before his confession.
The immediate question that follows is: why did Adam mention the woman at all? The answer, I believe, is because God asked. God cares about our stories, and He is concerned with the influences—both godly and ungodly—that shape those stories.
PRESENTING PROBLEM AND BACKGROUND INFORMATION
There are two things counselors are looking for in initial sessions. The first is the “presenting problem” and the second is background information. The presenting problem is what is going on presently that is causing distress (leading a person to pursue counseling). The presenting problem is how the client sees the problem.
In addition to the presenting problem, the background information helps the counselor understand the story that has led up to this current circumstance. Information gathering not only helps the counselor to meet people where they are but also brings understanding as to where they have come from. This understanding provides opportunities for compassionate connection.
Pursuing this information is not unlike how God enters into the brokenness of creation after the fall in Genesis 3. God pursues the man and calls out to him and asks a present tense question, “where are you?” The man explains that he was hiding (a behavioral response) because he was naked (self-conscious about being seen in his state) and afraid (an emotional response). These are symptoms of a bigger problem. Sometimes we settle for interventions that purely address symptoms (or felt needs) rather than what is most deeply broken.
Obviously, something has gone terribly wrong. This was not the way the man typically related to a benevolent God, but God is not panicked. He then asks two follow up questions, which are story questions in terms of how he got to this place in his life. He asks, “Who told you that you were naked?” and “Did you eat the fruit of the tree I told you not to eat?” In other words, what’s the story?
The man answers both questions. God is asking who was involved. The man clarifies. He says “the woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me the fruit…”. He does not allow a misunderstanding of the story but retells what actually happened. He then answers the second question and says, “I ate”. There is nothing false about what he says. God did give the woman to him. The woman did give him the fruit. He did eat. There is also nothing that remains hidden.
It’s important to note that the man did not do anything he did not want to do. He is culpable. He also seems to show clarity and honesty about who is responsible for what. He’s telling the story because God asked him to.
Whoever conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy.
Proverbs 28:13
Why might he refer to his wife as “the woman”? Great question. Because that is what she was named and how she is identified in scripture up to this point. However, why not say “my wife”? Another great question. Adam is in an honest but unredeemed state. He has not received the hope of the gospel. Sin separates us from God and one another. It is understandable that the intimacy and closeness of covenant has been affected. I imagine since everything has been ruined that the man is desperately broken and emotional, but honest. He may even question God’s goodness in giving the woman to him. God will demonstrate his goodness in redeeming what has been defiled.
Put it all together and Adam tells the story, both the fertile ground of ungodly influence and his culpability. He does not say “the woman made me do it”, which would be passive hearted.
God seems to accept his confession and then pursues the woman, asking, “what is it that you have done?” Similar to the man, the woman responds, “the serpent deceived me and I ate.” She does not say, “the devil made me do it.” The serpent did deceive her. Again, God cares about the ungodly influences in our lives. He is compassionate. The serpent’s voice was an ungodly influence to the woman, just like the woman’s voice was an ungodly influence to the man (Genesis 3:17). When Adam brings to light the injustice, God confronts the injustice. As the woman confesses and brings to light the injustice of the serpent, God confronts the source of all injustice.
If we step back and look at the broader context of redemption, the story would be confusing if Adam were simply blaming the woman.
“God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
James 4:6
Immediately after their failed attempt to fix the problem and their subsequent confessions, God declares the protoevangelium, the first gospel: a redeemer, an offspring of the woman will defeat the serpent, though He will be wounded in the process (Genesis 3:15). Adam appears to believe the gospel, for he names his wife Eve (mother of all the living). As a recipient of God's grace, Adam extends grace to the woman, and they are both clothed with animal skins—a covering that requires the shedding of innocent blood.
PUSHBACK
Naturally, because this interpretation challenges tradition, there is understandable resistance. However, I’m simply asking you to examine the text for what is truly being communicated. My goal is not to mislead others with teaching that goes against God’s intention. I believe it matters. Although I am not a Hebrew scholar, I’ve consulted those who are, and they’ve indicated that the Hebrew text does not suggest Adam is blaming. I have sought scholarly perspectives on this. Those that maintain the belief that Adam is blaming refer to the teachings of respected church fathers—drawing from tradition rather than directly from God’s word.
IT MATTERS
I believe it matters for two reasons. One is the gospel and the second is gospel-centered counsel. I will start with the second.
Suppose I begin counseling someone struggling with alcohol abuse. If I then inquire more about their story and discover the substance abuse had its onset in the midst of horrific domestic abuse and I respond, “Why are you blaming your parents?” That would be a real injustice. Jesus is compassionate toward the difficult realities of our lives while at the same time wanting to lead us out of our dysfunctional (sinful) responses. This is what I believe the church is doing with Adam (and Eve) when we say they are blaming. We miss an opportunity to join in their pain while at the same time offering hope through the gospel of a new life in Christ.
Secondly, for the sake of the gospel. God pursues Cain as well when his sacrifice is unacceptable and it is not offered in faith. Cain is disheartened. God explains that the problem is sin and it must be overcome (which we know can only happen through the gospel). Cain does not repent, he kills his brother and in his unrepentance denies responsibility. His unrepentant heart thinks his punishment is too great (wanting to avoid the consequences). Yet, there is common grace given with a mark to sustain his life.
In light of all we’ve examined, Adam’s response in Genesis 3 appears to be less about deflection and more about disclosure. Rather than simply blaming the woman or God, Adam answers God’s questions with honesty, recounting both the influence he experienced and the choice he made. This distinction is critical—not only for how we interpret the biblical narrative, but for how we counsel others. If we wrongly label confession as blame, we risk misrepresenting God’s heart and mishandling the very stories we are invited to steward with compassion and truth. God’s interaction with Adam reflects both justice and mercy, holding him accountable while not dismissing the context of his actions. This balance is essential in gospel-centered counseling. When we allow the text to speak for itself, we see a God who welcomes honesty, acknowledges complexity, and offers redemption—not just in Eden, but in every counseling room and every human heart that dares to say, “I ate.”